The school year is a prime time for life to get hectic and stress to build up. This is true for children, as well as parents.
“Often the ‘little things’ that go wrong during the day have the largest impact on how your children feel. Things like forgetting their lunch, dealing with someone who is teasing them or losing homework may seem small to you, but they’re important to children,” said Donna Donald, Iowa State University Extension family life field specialist.
Mrs. Donald gives some tips on what parents can do to help their children cope with daily stress, from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Center for Substance Abuse Prevention.
1. Control what you can, and let go of the things you can’t control. For example, your son can’t change the fact that he didn’t make the soccer team, but he can practice his skills for next year’s tryouts or explore other fun activities to participate in.
2. Focus on one problem at a time. Your teenage daughter might come home to tell you about her terrible day, which included spilling pop all over her new shirt, forgetting her homework and fighting with her friend. The best way to help her is to focus on each challenge individually. This helps her from becoming overwhelmed. Start by concentrating on the first problem, discuss possible solutions and then move on to the next, said Mrs. Donald. Focusing on one problem at a time not only helps prevent that problem in the future, it gives your child a sense of control.
3. Incorporate fun into every day. Make sure that teenagers aren’t overloaded with activities and schoolwork. They should take time out of every day to do something they enjoy, even if it is just for a few minutes.
4. Manage anger. Anger is a normal emotion. It’s what we do with anger that determines if it is helpful or harmful. If anger is difficult to control for either you or your child, implementing simple anger management tips is easy to do. Learning to “count to 10,” doing something that releases energy or taking a “time out” from a situation are all good ways to deal with anger.
5. Listen! An essential part of a teen’s life is the presence of a good listener who is friendly, understanding and calm. To fill this role, simply listen to your child. “Your daughter may not want your advice, but just being there for her and listening to what she says can help her cope,” said Mrs. Donald. “Acting as a sounding board for your child lets her ‘hear herself think,’ which can help her solve her own problems.”
By teaching your children how to cope with daily stress, you let them know that you are truly there for them. As they learn to manage the “little things,” they become better at tackling the bigger ones.
For more information on how to improve everyday family life, go to the ISU Extension Home and Family Web site at /homefamily/.