Football teams aren’t the only ones who can benefit from a “time out,” says Donna Donald, a family life specialist with Iowa State University Extension. Many parents use time outs to discipline their children. Time out can be a good way for both parents and children to cool off and prevent further misbehavior.

 “Time out means taking the child away from a situation that is getting out of hand or from a place where a child is misbehaving. Used properly, time out can be a learning opportunity, and that’s the true meaning of discipline,” Mrs. Donald said.

 Time out is never appropriate for children under three years of age, Mrs. Donald cautioned. For children age three and older, Mrs. Donald suggests setting a reasonable amount of time, such as one minute of time out for each year of the child’s age. Some parents use a timer so that both parent and child easily know when the time out is over.

Mrs. Donald offers these guidelines for effective time outs.

1.      Find a Time Out spot that is comfortable, away from the action and away from the place where your child was misbehaving.

2.      Tell your child he or she needs to take a break. Be calm but firm and tell the child to stay in the time out spot until he or she is calm or ready to behave.

3.      If your child tries to leave before the time is up, gently return him or her to the time out spot. Say that he or she can return to play when he or she is calm and ready to behave.

4.      When your child is calm, talk about why a time out was needed and what you expect in the future. If your child has hurt another child, see that he or she makes amends. If your child knocked something over, ask him or her to pick it up.

5.      Be sure to praise your child when he or she is calm and returns to activity without problems.

 “It is OK to let your child read a book or work on a quiet activity while in time out. Pick one that you know helps your child calm down,” Mrs. Donald said.

As children get older, parents can suggest that they leave time out when they are ready. This helps children learn when they have calmed down, Mrs. Donald added.

 Parents can encourage children to take a time out on their own when they feel the need to calm down or take a break. These steps encourage children to recognize and balance their own emotional state, Mrs. Donald said.

 “Try not to use time outs too often,” Mrs. Donald added. You might try redirecting — teaching your child a different way to do something. For example, don’t draw on the book; draw on this paper. Another option is positive reinforcement — praising your child when he or she does something correctly. You reinforce the good behavior.”

 To learn about these and other discipline techniques, ask for the following publications at your local county Iowa State University Extension office: Disciplining Your Preschooler (PM 1529b) or Discipline and Guidance for Early Elementary Children (PM 1547j). Or download copies from the ISU Extension Web site, https://www.extension.iastate.edu/store/.

 Donna K. Donald, Family Life Field Specialist

Iowa State University Extension

309 North Main, Leon, IA 50144

Phone: 641-446-4723   Fax: 641-446-6142

Email: ddonald@iastate.edu

12/5/2007