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3614 Administrative Services Building
Ames, Iowa 50011-3614
(515) 294-9915

10/16/00

Contacts:
Jeff Iles, Horticulture Extension, (515) 294-0029, iles@iastate.edu
Elaine Edwards, Extension Communication Systems, (515) 294-5168, eedwards@iastate.edu

Yard and Garden Column for the Week Beginning Oct. 20

The Great Tree Debate

By Jeff Iles
Extension horticulturist
Iowa State University Extension

Moderator: "Good evening and welcome to the first in a series of debates that will eventually help determine the official state tree of Iowa. At present, the oak is recognized as the state tree, but lawmakers and citizens alike have raised the question, which oak are you talking about? So tonight, we've invited three candidates to present their qualifications and debate the issues in this unique forum. Now let's meet the candidates.

Already the state tree of Illinois and considered by many to be one of the most handsome oaks, please join me in greeting the white oak. Next, a native son throughout the state of Iowa and known throughout the Midwest as "one tough cookie," please welcome the bur oak. Finally, one of the most popular shade trees in America, would you please welcome the pin oak.

Before we get started, I will remind the audience of their pledge to refrain from any and all emotional outbursts during these proceedings. Persons violating this agreement will be ushered from the auditorium by our sergeant-at-arms, Lars from the Acme Tree Care Company. You can put your chainsaw away now, Lars. Alright then, let's begin."

Moderator: "White oak, you've been labeled a slow-growing tree by your detractors. Do you think your deliberate growth rate will lessen your effectiveness should you become the state tree?"

White oak: "Certainly not! And let me just say I'm deeply offended by this allegation. Fast growth is not an accurate indicator of leadership qualities. In fact, rank, uncontrolled growth is exactly what you don't want from your state tree. Besides, if rapid growth is so highly valued, why aren't Siberian elm or cottonwood on the stage with us this evening? Yes, it may take me 50 years or so to reach respectable size, but I want the citizens of Iowa to know that I'm in this for the long haul. In fact, on the proper site I might live between 200 to 300 years. Furthermore, my fall leaf color is one heck of a lot more attractive than that of bur or pin oak."

Bur oak: "Already with the negative personal attacks white oak? Well, I think the voters deserve better so I'm not going to play the character assassination game tonight. Instead, I'm going to focus on all of the positive things I can bring to the landscape. First, I too will pledge to live at least 200 years. In addition, I'll gladly grow on alkaline soils and will stand tall in the face of ice, wind and heavy wet snow. And if given the opportunity to be your state tree, I promise to shade the homes of all working families. In fact, did you know that I invented shade? Furthermore....."

Moderator: "Your time is up bur oak."

Bur oak: "But Mr. Moderator, you gave my opponent...."

White oak: "Don't get your roots in a bunch bur oak. Besides, when did your kind ever live for 200 years? Sounds like fuzzy numbers to me."

Moderator: "Let's get back to the questioning shall we? Now pin oak, both of your opponents have chided you for becoming chlorotic on most Iowa soils. How do you respond to this accusation?"

Pin oak: "It all depends on what you mean by chlorotic."

Moderator: "Alright, I'll be more specific. Do your leaves turn a sickly yellow during the growing season if you're planted on soils with a pH above 7.0?"

Pin oak: "Listen, just because I don't like alkaline soils doesn't mean I'm not fit to lead. Besides, I've noticed white oak looking a little yellow from time to time. In fact, his record on alkaline sites isn't a whole lot better than mine. And what about white oak's reputation for being mean-spirited."

White oak: "Mr. Moderator, I think the citizens of this state are well aware of my compassionate record. In fact, because of my excellent branching habit and strong wood, the good people of Iowa will be able to keep more of their income instead of spending it on repairing storm-damaged limbs. I wonder if my opponent bur oak can make the same claim?"

Bur oak: "Two good friends, Lena and Ed Sundstrom from Ames are in the audience tonight, and I just want all Iowans to know that the bur oak towering over their home for the last 60 years and has never dropped so much as an acorn on their roof."

Pin oak: "Now just a darn minute bur oak! I'm acquainted with the Sundstrom property and the big tree in their yard is a sugar maple."

Bur oak: "It sounds like you're questioning my integrity pin oak. Is it your contention that this sugar maple has been dropping acorns on the Sundstrom home?"

Pin oak: "Oh, for crying out loud!"

Moderator: "Trees.....trees! Let's not act like silver maples. Now pin oak, isn't it true that you're native only in extreme southeastern Iowa? How will you ever relate to someone in Mason City for example?"

Pin oak: "Why don't you ask someone else a question?"

Moderator: "O.K. White oak, it has been reported that you are very intolerant of compaction and grade changes in the vicinity of your root system. Does this mean you don't like people?"

White oak: "There you go again distorting my record. True, I prefer a stable environment, but that doesn't mean I can't get along with all kinds of people. In fact, I'm fluent in three different languages."

Bur oak: "Yea, too bad one of them isn't English."

Moderator: "I'm sorry, but that will have to be the last word since we've run out of time. Thanks again to our three candidates, Lars from Acme Tree, and you the voting public. And may the best tree win!"

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ml: isugarden


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