Extension Communications
3614 Administrative Services Building
Ames, Iowa 50011-3614
(515) 294-9915
11/30/98
Contacts:
Jeff Iles, Horticulture Extension, (515) 294-0029
Elaine Edwards, Extension Communication Systems, (515)
294-5168
Yard and Garden Column for the Week Beginning Dec. 4
Yuletide Greetings From the Plant Guy
By Jeff Iles
Extension horticulturist
Iowa State University Extension
Hey, Plant Guy:
Let me get right to the point. During the holiday season
I host my fair share of parties. And I don't mind saying my
holiday decorating skills just might rival those of Martha
you-know-who. But here's my dilemma. Last year during one of
my social gatherings, an overly-animated guest brushed
against my impeccably decorated Christmas tree. Thankfully
"Mr. Lampshade on the Head" was wearing polyester so he
didn't snag a branch and bring the whole tree down. But to
my horror, his soiree with my spruce caused every last
needle to fall from the tree. It was the saddest thing you
ever saw. Decorations swaying, lights twinkling, but nary a
needle. I was mortified. You should know that up to this
point, my care of this tree had been flawless. A fresh cut
was administered to the basal end of the trunk before the
tree was brought into the house, it never lacked for water
and was positioned away from heating vents. I did overhear
one of my guests insinuate that I was pushing the season a
bit by having the tree decorated and in place by
Thanksgiving. Could this have anything to do with my
problem? I simply can't afford a similar gaff this year.
Sitting on Pins and Needles in Norwalk
Dear Needles:
In my opinion, holiday decorations, especially Christmas
trees, must be chosen with an eye towards resiliency and the
unexpected. For instance, will the tree stand tall amidst
the gale created by the wagging tail of a golden retriever?
Can it withstand the barrage of projectiles hurled by
visiting children? Finally, does the tree have the necessary
stamina to survive your Great Aunt Zelda who cannot carry on
a conversation without waving her arms? And really Needles,
putting your tree up as early as Thanksgiving is asking for
trouble, particularly if you've chosen a spruce, known for
being a little deficient in the needle retention department.
But if you must get a jump on the holiday decorating season,
might I suggest trees like Douglas fir, fraser fir or even
white fir that tenaciously hang on to their needles
regardless of the mayhem going on around them. In fact, I
have personal knowledge of a white fir that was still going
strong in March. (The Plant Guy just hates to take down
those holiday decorations.)
Hey, Plant Guy:
Seems like we've lost track of some great old holiday
traditions. And I don't mean things like scoring that
perfect parking space at the mall or trying to out-do your
neighbor in the holiday lighting competition. I'm talkin'
real, old-fashioned holiday traditions like bringing in the
yule log. Considering all of the storms we had last summer,
you'd think there would be plenty of Yule logs laying
around. What is a Yule log anyway?
Yearning to Yule in Yale
Dear Yearning to Yule:
The ritual of bringing in the yule log began in Great
Britain, spread throughout Europe, and eventually came to
North America. On Christmas Eve, families would drag the
large central trunk of a great tree from the forest to their
homes, where it would be thrown on the fireplace to burn for
the 12 days of Christmas. Over time, a number of
superstitions were attached to this laborious tradition. For
example, the Yule log had to be ignited the first time a
flame was put to it or bad luck would surely follow. It also
had to be lit with a stick saved from the previous year's
fire or the house would burn down. Newfoundlanders tempted
fate with their belief that throwing a piece of the flaming
log over the roof of their homes would protect the
inhabitants from fire during the coming year. But alas, rich
traditions such as these are not practiced much any more. In
fact, bringing a huge tree stump into our homes to burn in
our modern but relatively small fireplaces is not very
practical and probably not very safe. But for those of you
wishing to simulate this grand tradition, you might try
burning the Yule fruitcake. Some of those things can heat a
ranch-style home for a month.
Hey, Plant Guy:
Let me say right off that this is a very difficult
letter for me to write. Difficult because I consider myself
a pretty "handy" guy. Put me in a hardware store and I'm in
heaven. The same for lumber yards, plumbing and electrical
warehouses, even paint stores. So here's my situation. I've
finally convinced my better-half that we should get a "real"
Christmas tree this year. The old artificial tree served us
well for about 15 years, but just like my powder blue
leisure suit, it has been retired to the attic. The thing is
Plant Guy, I've forgotten everything my father taught me
about picking out a good tree. Can you give me a few
pointers?
Sheepish in Shelby
Dear Sheepish:
Don't despair, Sheepish! Picking out a good Christmas
tree is easier than putting up wallpaper. Come to think of
it, running a marathon is easier than putting up wallpaper,
but that's beside the point. Here are five sure-fire tips
for picking out a superior tree: (1) Dress properly. Leave
the Gucci shoes and thousand-dollar driving gloves home. You
will enjoy the experience more and probably bring home a
better tree if you come dressed for the weather. (2) Attack
the sales lot! Leap from your car, stride confidently into
the display area, and then with one hand stroking your chin,
survey the trees in each aisle, stopping occasionally to nod
or grunt intelligently. You know what a good tree looks
like. Now find it. (3) When you think you've found the right
tree, test it for freshness. First, run your properly gloved
hand along the branches. Needles should be flexible and
should not come off in your hand. Next, grab the tree by the
trunk, raise it a few inches off the ground, and drop it on
the butt end. If needles rain from the tree, continue your
search. Of course, if you've chosen a "cut your own"
operation, you may skip step three. (4) Examine the base or
butt end of the tree. If it is exceptionally large, crooked
or openly mocks you, do not, I repeat, do not buy that tree.
Wars have been fought and marriages ruined over the
herculean task of getting such trees into tree stands. (5)
Bring the appropriate vehicle. If you're a bit squeamish
about having your tree tied to the roof of your Lexus, bring
the Yugo, Pacer or Pinto instead. Oh, and Sheepish, you've
got a little tree resin on your chin. Way to go!
ml: isugarden
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