THE POWER OF QUESTIONS
Questions are the best group management and discipline tool! After a child makes a poor choice - asking a question keeps children in the process of problem solving the situation. By asking them questions, children learn how to fix the problem!
The delivery of the questions is critical - calm and empathetic - we feel bad that they have made a poor decision and we want to help them figure out how to fix it.
Here are a few samples:
First - we let the child know we see the problem - but without judgment on our part - Then, we ask the question. That lets children know we are interested and we believe they can do it!
I noticed you drew all over the table. I wonder how you are going to fix that?
I see you two are having a disagreement. What are you going to do now?
I notice that you seem angry about _______. What can you do now?
After they come up with ideas - we help them evaluate their options - "What will happen then?" That keeps the child thinking about the relationship between his/her choices and the consequences associated with them.
These are just a few samples - the point is to let them know you are there, give them the power to solve the problem!, and help them evaluate those ideas! It gets them thinking about the situation and lets them connect their choices with the consequences. It also is a HUGE self-esteem builder and teaches children that mistakes are a part of life and when we make them - we fix them!