Midwesterners take special note
We tend to be more easily offended than people from other parts of the United States. We are called thin-skinned because we tend to care probably too much about what others think of us and can be slow to respond when we’ve been treated with a lack of respect or civility.

The holiday season, the time to make resolutions is a good time to work on being more assertive and more forgiving.

For more on the studies, read the Des Moines Register Dec. 14 article: Grudges are hard on your heart, student contends. Subhead: The negativity will drive up blood pressure, a Luther professor says.

One of my colleagues went to work anyway. He took photos, explained he could get in only one door and wrote in an email:
Very lonely here, but the lights were on!

Midnight sun, lighting throughout the night, in office buildings does not respect the planet.

One small thing office workers can do
Adopt a policy that whoever is the last one to leave a room or a building should turn off the lights if they’re not motion sensitive. Post reminder signs near doors or light switches.

The U.S. Department of Energy has many tips to help Americans save energy. Check out the office energy checklist .

No one should come in from a blizzard to find a completely lighted building and no one there.

This exercise helps determine the credibility of people in your organization.

We are judged every day. Am I credible? Am I believable? Am I someone people (including myself) trust?

Four elements of credibility
Stephen Covey in ‘The Speed of Trust’ lists four key elements of personal credibility.
Two elements deal with character
• integrity
• good intent
Two elements with competence
• credentials
• demonstrated capabilities

Building credibility is a key behavior of leaders
You can work on improving every one of these elements. To test your credibility, go to http://www.speedoftrust.com/. Find Out Who Trusts You is a short survey you take and then you can invite colleagues to take a survey about your credibility.

These two watch cooking shows and read cookbooks as if they were novels. For a day and a half they prepared food and consulted their menu taped to a cupboard door. My first pangs of not being in control hit when one asked me to take the turkey out of the brine and get it in the oven early on the second morning. It would not be stuffed. How can you have a Thanksgiving turkey without my mother’s stuffing? I’d worked hard to get that recipe. One Thanksgiving years ago I sat at mom’s farmhouse kitchen table and quizzed her on every ingredient and approximate amounts since she wasn’t measuring anything.

I took the dog on a long walk on the second day and thought as I came back towards home that I could set the table. I came in the door to find they’d already selected china, had a centerpiece and the drawer with table linens was open with napkins laying about. Apparently some task in the kitchen had taken the table setter away from a final decision on napkins.

Somewhere in the haze of food preparation, I was asked to find my mom’s recipe for salad delicious—this is a 1950s green Jell-o concoction. (Something of my heritage would be on the table.) And as meal time approached, I was called to the kitchen to make gravy. I am, after all, the only one with a home ec degree.

“To be open inspires credibility and trust;
to be closed fosters suspicion and mistrust.” -- Stephen M.R. Covey, 'The Speed of Trust'

Covey writes you can evaluate your openness with questions such as:
• Do I believe that the way I see the world is totally accurate and complete—or am I honestly willing to listen to and consider new viewpoints and ideas?
• Do I seriously consider differing points of view, and am I willing to be influenced by them?
• Do I believe there may be principles that I have not yet discovered? Am I determined to live in harmony with them, even it if means developing new thinking patterns and habits?
• Do I value---and am I involved in—continual learning?

The Thanksgiving tale is a simple one of being open to new ideas, of the power of differing views and being open to something new and different. Covey’s questions applied to the workplace can bring powerful results if you practice civility—listening and respecting the ideas of others.

P.S. After long hours in the kitchen, the girls called in the rest of the family and friends both evenings to play (new and different) board games. Both daughters told me this was the best Thanksgiving ever. I’d agree.

Consider these ideas to increase gratefulness
Think of a person important in your past. This is a person who made a difference in your life but you have not told how much you appreciated the help or guidance. Write a page about that and call, or better yet, visit that person and express your gratitude.

Keep a gratitude journal for a week. Each evening, write down three things you’re grateful for that day. Maybe it’s potable water, a bed to sleep in and shelter. Many in the world don’t have those basic necessities.

Take the gratitude survey to measure your appreciation about the past. It’s on the Authentic Happiness site from the University of Pennsylvania Positive Psychology Center. You’ll need to register and then you can use the resources, take the tests.

Gratitude is about being content
Gratitude can be cultivated. You can decrease your desire for consumer goods, be less envious of other’s positions or wealth if you look beyond your immediate surroundings.

Instead of being competitive and concerned about being self-reliant, think about how many have helped you and continue to help. Do you believe you have enough and should share? What can you give to others… physical things or emotional support?

Happy Thanksgiving. May you have a grateful heart. It improves your well-being.

A longer article from the Utah State University Extension, Cultivating Gratitude

I thank Ellen, Lee and Kristin who presented these ideas Sunday.

The good news is the person has recognized change. Sometimes we don’t surface from the day to day work to see changes in tools and culture.

It helps me to think of it this way: Would I want to be on unemployment compensation forever? Would I want my children to always be ages one, three and five? Would I want a yard full of leaves all the time? All those things have happened; only the leaves are current.

How we respond
How have the tools in your job changed? The clients, the economy? Have you changed with them? Those who are stuck as if always at one age or season make work difficult for others. If I insisted on writing for the Web the same way I learned to write for newspapers, I would not be helping my employer or learning anything new. And more important, I would not be writing the way today’s public scans text on the Web.

If I didn’t listen to the people who embrace social media, would I be helping my organization stay viable? The questions should not be ‘what am I comfortable doing?’ or ‘what do I personally know and like?’

What will delight the client?
What do people want to know and how do they want the information? Those are the right questions.

That’s civility—thinking of others rather than being oblivious to or resisting change.

It’s Pursuit of Happiness Week, the second week in November
A company’s biggest asset walks out the doors each evening or at the end of each shift. How much do employees contribute if they are neutral about how happy they are with their jobs (36%) or unhappy (13%) or totally unhappy (17%)?

Employee happiness benefits the company
Workers who are happy with their jobs increase production, pass along happiness to customers, are absent from work less, communicate honestly and effectively and are more committed to their company because they feel they are an integral component.

Managers, directors and CEOs should take notice
If more than 60% of the American workforce is not very enthused about going to work each day, shouldn’t someone take notice?

Most people have annual performance reviews. What if employers added an annual performance review by the workers of their work unit and their company? It could be as simple as an online survey with a text box or two to write in comments.

Employee satisfaction surveys would improve communication. They should provide some ideas on how to improve the workplace. Civility in the workplace includes good communication and respecting all people. If a company’s largest asset isn’t happy in the workplace, that’s an opportunity to make changes to benefit both the company and the workers. It could be downright enlightening to hear what the workers think and suggestions they would make.

Related post
The seven key needs of employees

People are in the aisles trying to smash full-size suitcases in overhead bins. They’re blocking the aisle. Stewards and stewardesses are relegated to acting like playground supervisors, asking people to step aside so other passengers can board and find their seats.

The passengers with over-sized luggage didn’t pay the fee, $20 or so, to check their bag. Do you ever wonder why we have rules?

The passengers with too many and oversize bags are uncivil. They’re disruptive to the passengers who paid to check their luggage. Their luggage may be a safety hazard. They are an impediment to a plane departing on schedule.

U.S. airlines don’t have rules or do little to enforce rules about number of carry-on pieces, weight or size. That needs to change unless people can police themselves.

Until that happens, I encourage you to take the path of civility. Pack less or check your luggage. Civility or money—which is more important?

USA Today, For air travelers, a 'fight for the overheads'
Bag fees, crowded jets mean bins are packed

You have to start somewhere in doing the important things in life. Being a citizen who votes should be at the top of any American’s list. Read up on the candidates and where to vote. Do it. It’s an act of civility for your community and its future.

Think about software a bit. Who has permission to change code? Who has permission to edit the copy on a Web page? How difficult is it to get permission to do those things? The software and the answers to these questions tell you a great deal about an organization’s values. It may be controlling and hierarchal or it may be collaborative and open.

eXtension uses MediaWiki, the software of Wikipedia. That means anyone within a work group can edit. Everyone can see the history log of who made changes and when. eXtension staff meeting notes are posted on the wiki. Anyone in the Cooperative Extension System nationwide can read the notes. What is the culture? What are the values? It’s collaborative, open and honest communication.

Two value examples from about.com
1. If you value integrity and you experience a quality problem in your manufacturing process, you honestly inform your customer of the exact nature of the problem. You discuss your actions to eliminate the problem, and the anticipated delivery time the customer can expect. If integrity is not a fundamental value, you may make excuses and mislead the customer.

2. If you value equality and a sense of family, you will wipe out the physical trappings of power, status, and inequality such as executive parking places and offices that grow larger by a foot with every promotion.
http://humanresources.about.com/od/strategicplanning1/a/organizvalues.htm

More about values
Traditional 20th-Century Organization: A Machine-Like Entity vs. The Values-Based Organization: A Living, Breathing Community

Proof of values
Anyone can say they have specific values in their organization, but the proof is in the processes and the culture. That’s integrity—stating what you believe, telling others that is what you believe and acting it out.

Do you have examples of values displayed in work processes and cultures?

Within an organization, it is important to identify the departments or functions that will act as change initiators, implementers, and resistors. Survey respondents identify accounting, finance, and marketing as often less supportive of program implementation than other departments.

The things we print—If we need to print messages and information, can we edit the copy, reduce the graphics and color to use less paper and altogether convey a more socially responsible message? As more people have Internet access, they search for information on the Web. What ranks high in search? Well written content. People are impatient so they don’t want to struggle through pdfs and graphics. They want the information in the first several paragraphs.

The premiums we give away—Just last week I handed out pens, magnetic clips and pads of sticky notes. Recently I’ve read we should be using ink refills rather than so many plastic pens. Distributing one of those three premiums would have been a step toward being socially responsible.

2. Telecommuting
We try to compartmentalize our lives into 8+ hours in the office as work time and the rest is personal time.

In ‘Leaders Make the Future: Ten New Leadership Skills for an Uncertain World’ (2009), Bob Johansen writes about the skill of dilemma flipping: ability to turn dilemmas—which, unlike problems, cannot be solved—into advantages and opportunities. “..a dilemma: the balance of work and private life is impossible to achieve, at least in my experience. This is not a problem that can be solved. Rather, the intersection of the two is a territory that can only be navigated with assistance and intelligent choices.”

In the opening pages of ‘Work Naked: Eight Essential Principles for Peak Performance in the Virtual Workplace’ (2001) Cynthia Froggatt writes, “We’ve never fully made the transition from manual labor to knowledge-based working….we have created a complex system of visual cues to signify that (or give the impression that) someone is working. ‘The office’ is a stage where people ‘perform their work’ for others to SEE.”

Buildings account for 40 percent of global energy demand and nearly 37 percent of total CO2 emissions.

We start up our cars and drive through terrible weather to get to the office when we could get just as much work done (and often more) at home. We persist in assigning devoted space in office buildings to workers and demand they be at their desks 8 to 5.

Salient points
While the specific impetus for each company varies, three overarching drivers emerged from the survey: cost savings, social responsibility, and reputation. These drivers are linked by a common desire to ensure the long-term success of the organization. It should be noted, though, that as a company fulfills its goals in these areas and gains knowledge of the issue, the motivations then shift toward leveraging climate-related market changes for competitive advantage.

Sustainable climate strategies cannot be an add-on to business as usual; they must be integrated with a company’s core business activities.

Pew Center reports
Prepared for the Pew Center on Global Climate Change
Getting Ahead of the Curve: Corporate Strategies That Address Climate Change, October 2006
Adapting to Climate Change: A Business Approach, April 2008

Relating to your boss
Be well prepared with notes.
Talk about “getting results.”
Understand and support your boss’ goals.
Ask what information your boss wants, the best way to present it.
Answer questions. Explain processes. You’re knowledgeable about your job.
Admit you don’t understand or are confused. Asking for help shows humility and a desire to learn.
Ask for meetings, for explanations.
Offer suggestions. Offer to help when you see a need.

Working relationships with co-workers
Listen.
Be friendly and sincere.
Encourage ideas.
Ask shy people to contribute.
Know how to direct the conversation back to the topic.
Take issue with problems and ideas, not the people involved.

We all fear the unknown
Good relationships and communication help reduce stress and improve civility.

This was part of my presentation promoting civility in the workplace at the Iowa State University Extension Office Assistants Development Conference.

"Put it before them briefly so they will read it, clearly so they will appreciate it, picturesquely so they will remember it and, above all, accurately so they will be guided by its light."
--Joseph Pulitzer (in 34 words actually)

Tips for better writing
Focus on your audience.
Determine your purpose.
Connect with the reader.
Be brief, clear and accurate.
Make it easy to read.

What is the purpose of your email?
What do you want someone to
--know (information)
--feel (emotion)
--do (action)
after reading what you wrote?

Think: I am writing because I want ________________

Eliminate jargon, outdated phrases and clichés
Many of these are left-over from days of memos but creep into email messages:
If I can be of further assistance
Please don’t hesitate to call
Enclosed please find
Per your request
With regard to
Thank you in advance

Take the time to write brief and clear emails so you don’t have to explain further in follow-up emails. It will reduce your stress and that makes you more civil…with your customers, coworkers and supervisor.

(This was part of my presentation promoting civility in the workplace at the Iowa State University Extension Office Assistants Development Conference.)

2. Have empathy
Know who benefits from your work and try to see things from their perspective.
Your boss may be stressed with new duties, fearful about the economy. Know your boss’ top priorities.
Customer may be as confused and unhappy with changes as you are. Try to look at the situation from their perspective.

3. Be curious
Ask how things are done, why they are done that way.
Seek new perspectives.

4. Be proactive
Defuse a bad situation.
Ask to meet with your boss to admit you can’t get all the work done or you are behind; that’s a huge relief to the boss.
Be professional with unhappy customers.

5. Think about interdependence
How will your actions affect other people?

6. Show initiative
How do you think you could be most helpful to the organization and your boss?
Can you exchange one task for another?
If you point out problems, suggest at least one possible solution.

7. Be positive
An employee with a bad attitude affects customers, coworkers and bosses.
New boss? Listen with an open mind to plans and how you can fit, help out, provide history when needed, set realistic not inflated goals of what you can do.

8. Think before you speak
Listen more than you talk. Very few people like constant jabber.
Don’t provide too much information, particularly personal information.

9. Show up on time
Be reliably prompt to work and to meetings.

10. Seek opportunity in the good times and tough times
Be strong and resilient.
Search the situation for something to learn or some other way to benefit.

This is part of my presentation today promoting civility in the workplace at the Iowa State University Extension Office Assistants Development Conference.

Organizational power
The people who shuffle resources and set budgets possess organizational power.

In ‘Only the Paranoid Survive,’ Andrew Grove of Intel writes about how hard his company worked to break down the walls between those with knowledge power and those with organizational power. He says promoting constant collaboration between people with the two powers creates the best solutions in the interest of both.

In a time of crisis
Whether it’s new competition, rapid growth or deterioration, this meshing of knowledge and organizational power is important for survival. You are trying to define what the organization will be and what the organization will not be. You need to let chaos reign to explore alternatives.

That’s respect and civility from both sides—those with deep knowledge but narrow focus and those with a larger organizational perspective who can set a context.

An organization that has a culture that can deal with these two phases—debate (chaos reigns) and a determined march (chaos reigned in)—is a powerful, adaptive organization.

Such an organization has two attributes:
1. It tolerates and even encourages debate. These debates are vigorous, devoted to exploring issues, indifferent to rank and includes individuals of varied backgrounds.
2. It is capable of making and accepting clear decisions with the entire organization then supporting the decision.