People are in the aisles trying to smash full-size suitcases in overhead bins. They’re blocking the aisle. Stewards and stewardesses are relegated to acting like playground supervisors, asking people to step aside so other passengers can board and find their seats.

The passengers with over-sized luggage didn’t pay the fee, $20 or so, to check their bag. Do you ever wonder why we have rules?

The passengers with too many and oversize bags are uncivil. They’re disruptive to the passengers who paid to check their luggage. Their luggage may be a safety hazard. They are an impediment to a plane departing on schedule.

U.S. airlines don’t have rules or do little to enforce rules about number of carry-on pieces, weight or size. That needs to change unless people can police themselves.

Until that happens, I encourage you to take the path of civility. Pack less or check your luggage. Civility or money—which is more important?

USA Today, For air travelers, a 'fight for the overheads'
Bag fees, crowded jets mean bins are packed

You have to start somewhere in doing the important things in life. Being a citizen who votes should be at the top of any American’s list. Read up on the candidates and where to vote. Do it. It’s an act of civility for your community and its future.

Think about software a bit. Who has permission to change code? Who has permission to edit the copy on a Web page? How difficult is it to get permission to do those things? The software and the answers to these questions tell you a great deal about an organization’s values. It may be controlling and hierarchal or it may be collaborative and open.

eXtension uses MediaWiki, the software of Wikipedia. That means anyone within a work group can edit. Everyone can see the history log of who made changes and when. eXtension staff meeting notes are posted on the wiki. Anyone in the Cooperative Extension System nationwide can read the notes. What is the culture? What are the values? It’s collaborative, open and honest communication.

Two value examples from about.com
1. If you value integrity and you experience a quality problem in your manufacturing process, you honestly inform your customer of the exact nature of the problem. You discuss your actions to eliminate the problem, and the anticipated delivery time the customer can expect. If integrity is not a fundamental value, you may make excuses and mislead the customer.

2. If you value equality and a sense of family, you will wipe out the physical trappings of power, status, and inequality such as executive parking places and offices that grow larger by a foot with every promotion.
http://humanresources.about.com/od/strategicplanning1/a/organizvalues.htm

More about values
Traditional 20th-Century Organization: A Machine-Like Entity vs. The Values-Based Organization: A Living, Breathing Community

Proof of values
Anyone can say they have specific values in their organization, but the proof is in the processes and the culture. That’s integrity—stating what you believe, telling others that is what you believe and acting it out.

Do you have examples of values displayed in work processes and cultures?

Within an organization, it is important to identify the departments or functions that will act as change initiators, implementers, and resistors. Survey respondents identify accounting, finance, and marketing as often less supportive of program implementation than other departments.

The things we print—If we need to print messages and information, can we edit the copy, reduce the graphics and color to use less paper and altogether convey a more socially responsible message? As more people have Internet access, they search for information on the Web. What ranks high in search? Well written content. People are impatient so they don’t want to struggle through pdfs and graphics. They want the information in the first several paragraphs.

The premiums we give away—Just last week I handed out pens, magnetic clips and pads of sticky notes. Recently I’ve read we should be using ink refills rather than so many plastic pens. Distributing one of those three premiums would have been a step toward being socially responsible.

2. Telecommuting
We try to compartmentalize our lives into 8+ hours in the office as work time and the rest is personal time.

In ‘Leaders Make the Future: Ten New Leadership Skills for an Uncertain World’ (2009), Bob Johansen writes about the skill of dilemma flipping: ability to turn dilemmas—which, unlike problems, cannot be solved—into advantages and opportunities. “..a dilemma: the balance of work and private life is impossible to achieve, at least in my experience. This is not a problem that can be solved. Rather, the intersection of the two is a territory that can only be navigated with assistance and intelligent choices.”

In the opening pages of ‘Work Naked: Eight Essential Principles for Peak Performance in the Virtual Workplace’ (2001) Cynthia Froggatt writes, “We’ve never fully made the transition from manual labor to knowledge-based working….we have created a complex system of visual cues to signify that (or give the impression that) someone is working. ‘The office’ is a stage where people ‘perform their work’ for others to SEE.”

Buildings account for 40 percent of global energy demand and nearly 37 percent of total CO2 emissions.

We start up our cars and drive through terrible weather to get to the office when we could get just as much work done (and often more) at home. We persist in assigning devoted space in office buildings to workers and demand they be at their desks 8 to 5.

Salient points
While the specific impetus for each company varies, three overarching drivers emerged from the survey: cost savings, social responsibility, and reputation. These drivers are linked by a common desire to ensure the long-term success of the organization. It should be noted, though, that as a company fulfills its goals in these areas and gains knowledge of the issue, the motivations then shift toward leveraging climate-related market changes for competitive advantage.

Sustainable climate strategies cannot be an add-on to business as usual; they must be integrated with a company’s core business activities.

Pew Center reports
Prepared for the Pew Center on Global Climate Change
Getting Ahead of the Curve: Corporate Strategies That Address Climate Change, October 2006
Adapting to Climate Change: A Business Approach, April 2008

Relating to your boss
Be well prepared with notes.
Talk about “getting results.”
Understand and support your boss’ goals.
Ask what information your boss wants, the best way to present it.
Answer questions. Explain processes. You’re knowledgeable about your job.
Admit you don’t understand or are confused. Asking for help shows humility and a desire to learn.
Ask for meetings, for explanations.
Offer suggestions. Offer to help when you see a need.

Working relationships with co-workers
Listen.
Be friendly and sincere.
Encourage ideas.
Ask shy people to contribute.
Know how to direct the conversation back to the topic.
Take issue with problems and ideas, not the people involved.

We all fear the unknown
Good relationships and communication help reduce stress and improve civility.

This was part of my presentation promoting civility in the workplace at the Iowa State University Extension Office Assistants Development Conference.

"Put it before them briefly so they will read it, clearly so they will appreciate it, picturesquely so they will remember it and, above all, accurately so they will be guided by its light."
--Joseph Pulitzer (in 34 words actually)

Tips for better writing
Focus on your audience.
Determine your purpose.
Connect with the reader.
Be brief, clear and accurate.
Make it easy to read.

What is the purpose of your email?
What do you want someone to
--know (information)
--feel (emotion)
--do (action)
after reading what you wrote?

Think: I am writing because I want ________________

Eliminate jargon, outdated phrases and clichés
Many of these are left-over from days of memos but creep into email messages:
If I can be of further assistance
Please don’t hesitate to call
Enclosed please find
Per your request
With regard to
Thank you in advance

Take the time to write brief and clear emails so you don’t have to explain further in follow-up emails. It will reduce your stress and that makes you more civil…with your customers, coworkers and supervisor.

(This was part of my presentation promoting civility in the workplace at the Iowa State University Extension Office Assistants Development Conference.)

2. Have empathy
Know who benefits from your work and try to see things from their perspective.
Your boss may be stressed with new duties, fearful about the economy. Know your boss’ top priorities.
Customer may be as confused and unhappy with changes as you are. Try to look at the situation from their perspective.

3. Be curious
Ask how things are done, why they are done that way.
Seek new perspectives.

4. Be proactive
Defuse a bad situation.
Ask to meet with your boss to admit you can’t get all the work done or you are behind; that’s a huge relief to the boss.
Be professional with unhappy customers.

5. Think about interdependence
How will your actions affect other people?

6. Show initiative
How do you think you could be most helpful to the organization and your boss?
Can you exchange one task for another?
If you point out problems, suggest at least one possible solution.

7. Be positive
An employee with a bad attitude affects customers, coworkers and bosses.
New boss? Listen with an open mind to plans and how you can fit, help out, provide history when needed, set realistic not inflated goals of what you can do.

8. Think before you speak
Listen more than you talk. Very few people like constant jabber.
Don’t provide too much information, particularly personal information.

9. Show up on time
Be reliably prompt to work and to meetings.

10. Seek opportunity in the good times and tough times
Be strong and resilient.
Search the situation for something to learn or some other way to benefit.

This is part of my presentation today promoting civility in the workplace at the Iowa State University Extension Office Assistants Development Conference.

Organizational power
The people who shuffle resources and set budgets possess organizational power.

In ‘Only the Paranoid Survive,’ Andrew Grove of Intel writes about how hard his company worked to break down the walls between those with knowledge power and those with organizational power. He says promoting constant collaboration between people with the two powers creates the best solutions in the interest of both.

In a time of crisis
Whether it’s new competition, rapid growth or deterioration, this meshing of knowledge and organizational power is important for survival. You are trying to define what the organization will be and what the organization will not be. You need to let chaos reign to explore alternatives.

That’s respect and civility from both sides—those with deep knowledge but narrow focus and those with a larger organizational perspective who can set a context.

An organization that has a culture that can deal with these two phases—debate (chaos reigns) and a determined march (chaos reigned in)—is a powerful, adaptive organization.

Such an organization has two attributes:
1. It tolerates and even encourages debate. These debates are vigorous, devoted to exploring issues, indifferent to rank and includes individuals of varied backgrounds.
2. It is capable of making and accepting clear decisions with the entire organization then supporting the decision.

That happens at workplaces
Companies and organizations forget where they are headed or worse, don’t know. Lethargy can permeate the organization that lacks goals and clear vision. Insert a strategic inflection point such as a recession and watch the stress build. It erupts in disagreements, unkind words and rumors…a great uncertainty.

In ‘Only the Paranoid Survive: How to Exploit the Crisis Points that Challenge Every Company,’ Andrew Grove of Intel Corporation writes, “A strategic inflection point is when something is changing in a big way, when something is different, yet when you’re so busy trying to survive that the significance of the change only becomes clear in retrospect. The ability to recognize the winds have shifted and to take appropriate action is crucial.”

If you work for an organization that doesn’t know where it’s headed, you need to think about where you are headed.
• Ask your boss how you can best help the organization.
• Figure out how to get along with coworkers and help them.
• Step out of the current fog to look at what you accomplished before this strategic inflection point, what others have done in similar situations so you can try to produce more or better work, be more innovative. Learn from history but don’t be attached to it emotionally.

Grove says your career is literally your business. You own it as a sole proprietor. You have one employee—yourself. You need to accept ownership of your career, your skills, your knowledge and the timing of your moves.

Take a right turn
Grove: Timing means acting when not everything is known. When you’re caught in the turbulence of a strategic inflection point, the sad fact is that instinct and judgment are all you’ve got to guide you.

I think now is the time to build up your company of one, particularly if you work in a paralyzed organization or company. Learn new skills. Seek out information and ideas of what others are doing. And then you can more clearly think about whether you want to stay in your current job after the recession or be poised to seek something new. It will keep you energized and out of the office strife of incivilities.

Andrew S. Grove is currently Senior Advisor at Intel Corporation.
His book ‘Only the Paranoid Survive’ is one of eight in the strategy section of the book ‘The 100 Best Business Books of All Time.’

What are the pressing topics of civility in the workplace this fall?
These are some thoughts to get you in the mood.
1. Are you more or less informed than before the recession?
2. Has trust increased or decreased?
3. Are you required to be more or less accountable about your schedule or what you’ve produced?
4. Can you be creative and innovative?
5. Are we all in this together or is this a time when people promote themselves?
6. Do you feel like you’re on your organization’s critical path? (Staying on the critical path)
7. Do you view your job differently?
8. Has your job changed and do you understand your responsibilities?
9. Is workplace harassment a byproduct of the recession?

I need your ideas for topics about civility in the workplace … fall 2009 pertinent. Please send reactions and suggestions.

She was still on Pacific Time and had dealt with a canceled flight on her way to Iowa, so I wasn’t surprised that she was still asleep when I was ready to go to work. I drove to work. At 9 a.m., my cubemates made no move to go to our meeting. I asked why. We were notified yesterday we don’t need to attend, they said. One suggested I knew because I responded to the cancellation email. I asked her to look at the email and see if I was a recipient or had responded; I wasn’t and didn’t.

Being offended is often an initial reaction
Should my daughter be offended because I didn’t wake her up?
Should I be offended because I didn’t receive the email canceling the meeting?
Should my daughter be offended because she had an unexpected 5-hour layover in Denver?
Should I be offended because one of my coworkers thought I knew our meeting was canceled?

We were probably offended in varying degrees. The crucial question is what did we do? Being offended can lead to anger triggered by stress, frustration, fear, annoyance, resentment or unrealistic expectations.

Be slow to be offended with these steps:
Build a sense of self-worth
You are more easily offended when you feel insecure. Listen attentively to advice, complaints and criticism rather than looking for someone to blame.
Look for the intent
When you feel offended, think about the other person’s intentions. Frequently, you’ll discover the actions were an oversight or offered in an effort to help.
Respond slowly with reconciliation rather than revenge
It is easy to react quickly to offenses. The conversation can escalate from one caustic remark to another. Civility doesn’t mean you put up with rude behavior. You may want to tell the offender how the action made you feel. You don’t need to escalate the situation by involving other people.

Judge each situation carefully
Everyone feels offended at times, but not dealing effectively with your feelings can create relationship problems at work and with family and friends. Is a response necessary?

When you let emotions dictate a hasty response, you relinquish control of yourself and of the situation. Be slow to be offended.

Are we candid about what worked and what didn’t? Do we take time to evaluate? Do we listen to what others say?
The oregano wasn’t pungent. A 4-H gardening judge always told my children: stress the Mediterranean herbs to get strong flavors. I had horse manure tilled into my plot this year. The growing conditions were too fertile.

Are the growing conditions right at work? Do we get the training, equipment and information we need?

Do we pay attention to those who need help?
The marjoram wasn’t where my plan said it was supposed to be. There was no marjoram anywhere.

The English thyme, basil and flat-leaf parsley were terrific.

All herbs don’t flourish in a one-condition environment. People don’t either.
In ‘Work Naked: Eight Essential Principles for Peak Performance in the Virtual Workplace,’ author Cynthia Froggatt stresses that one size does not fit all for peak performance. It's a book that makes me think about my assumptions. (I'll post more about the book another time.)

Froggatt stresses knowledge workers often reach out of the current setting to think about problems or suggest solutions. Do you compare disparate things or get inspiration for work from hobbies, events, family and friends?

Think before you speak. Reduce the fluff and filler material in your daily communications. Try to make every word count, and think about how you're going to phrase something before you open your mouth. If you don't have something important to say, remain silent. With continuous effort, the right words will come to you more easily. It may seem surprising but limiting the amount you talk will make what you have to say more interesting.

Your listening skill...Rarely taught and infrequently practiced, listening is nonetheless a key to communicating and making others feel special in your presence.

Tony Alessandra, author of ‘Charisma: Seven Keys to Developing the Magnetism that Leads to Success’, writes “A person who develops his or her charisma is likely to do well in all aspects of life. That's because, on several different levels, they better connect with people. By definition, the charismatic person is more other-directed, more empathic.” From his column ‘Why Charisma Matters’

wikiHow has an article on ‘How to Be Charismatic’

Psychology Today’s definition
Charisma is the ability to attract, charm and influence the people around you. Charisma is often said to be a mysterious ineffable quality you either have or you don't, but it's actually easy to break down many of the factors that make someone charismatic: confidence, exuberance, and optimism, as well as a ready smile, expressive body language, and a friendly and passionate voice.

I’ll close out charisma and civility with this thought.
The opposite of charismatic (repulsive)
It’s those who can turn any conversation into one about themselves. In today’s society where people share intimate details on cell phones in public places and type their movements into social media on the Web, where’s the charisma?

As I tried to decide what to write about this week, I looked through some recent notes. One was on charisma. Was Ted Kennedy charismatic?

Here’s what Wikipedia says about charisma
The word charisma (Greek "kharisma," meaning "gift," "of/from/favored by God/the divine") refers to a trait found in persons whose personalities are characterized by a personal charm and magnetism (attractiveness), along with innate and powerfully sophisticated abilities of interpersonal communication and persuasion. One who is charismatic is said to be capable of using their personal being, rather than just speech or logic alone, to interface with other human beings in a personal and direct manner, and effectively communicate an argument or concept to them.

I think a great deal of charisma focuses on caring about others, being inclusive, listening, asking questions and not seeking personal attention but furthering specific ideas. Many of those traits apply to civility when the ideas work for the public good.

Several years ago a British psychology professor led a study that concluded charismatic people have an infectious personality. The good news is Professor Richard Wiseman estimates charisma is half innate and half learned. The BBC News Magazine article about his study published a list on how to be more charismatic.

Whatever his faults and mistakes, Ted Kennedy seemed to be genuine and humble in his caring for others. Perhaps he was charismatic. His time spent reaching out to others was a mark of civility.

Does your behavior damage trust?