The charismatic person is other-directed, empathetic
Because I am intrigued by how charisma and civility intertwine, I’ve searched for more on charisma. Some of the things I especially like in the two articles I’m citing --
Think before you speak. Reduce the fluff and filler material in your daily communications. Try to make every word count, and think about how you're going to phrase something before you open your mouth. If you don't have something important to say, remain silent. With continuous effort, the right words will come to you more easily. It may seem surprising but limiting the amount you talk will make what you have to say more interesting.
Your listening skill...Rarely taught and infrequently practiced, listening is nonetheless a key to communicating and making others feel special in your presence.
Tony Alessandra, author of ‘Charisma: Seven Keys to Developing the Magnetism that Leads to Success’, writes “A person who develops his or her charisma is likely to do well in all aspects of life. That's because, on several different levels, they better connect with people. By definition, the charismatic person is more other-directed, more empathic.” From his column ‘Why Charisma Matters’
wikiHow has an article on ‘How to Be Charismatic’
Psychology Today’s definition
Charisma is the ability to attract, charm and influence the people around you. Charisma is often said to be a mysterious ineffable quality you either have or you don't, but it's actually easy to break down many of the factors that make someone charismatic: confidence, exuberance, and optimism, as well as a ready smile, expressive body language, and a friendly and passionate voice.
I’ll close out charisma and civility with this thought.
The opposite of charismatic (repulsive)
It’s those who can turn any conversation into one about themselves. In today’s society where people share intimate details on cell phones in public places and type their movements into social media on the Web, where’s the charisma?