Are you real?
Likeability factor No. 2: Realness is
the integrity that stands behind your likeability and guarantees its authenticity.
A real person is genuine, true and authentic. Real people know their roots, heritage and history; they don’t forget them. They know their values and behave accordingly. A real person is sincere and trustworthy.
When you give others your trust, you do it for yourself. You trust people so you can get on with your life. When you encounter someone you don’t trust, you wear yourself out trying to decipher the truth. The five characteristics that contribute to a listener’s perception of trust are expertness, reliability, intention, dynamics and likeability.
What shows a lack of realness?
Lying—everything the person has ever said to you is called into question.
Hypocrisy—you notice when others don’t act out what they said they believe.
Insincerity---you’d rather have someone tell you the truth rather than treat you as if they can’t because you’ll be upset or can’t cope with perceptions or facts.
Be true to yourself
Who are you? You need to know the answer.
One of the exercises Tim Sanders asks you to do in his book ‘The Likeability Factor: How to Boost Your L-Factor and Achieve Your Life’s Dreams’ is write the answers to questions such as these:
• What do you talk about when the conversation is about values?
• What do you stand for that separates you from others?
• If you give money to a cause, what kind of cause is it and why do you make that contribution?
• What was the last piece of advice you gave someone that you felt strongly about?