Civility on the bad days… with whom do you vent?
Conflict in the workplace is inevitable.
Big things, little things.
You’ll never be in perfect agreement with all the people in your workplace. You know you should manage your irritation. What if you’re having a really uncivil day?
Where do you go?
Certainly it must be someone
• who has earned your trust,
• who is a willing listener and
• with whom you can have an honest discussion and that means you may not hear exactly what you want to hear.
It may be a friend in your office, a workplace spouse, if you are sure of the confidence level. Some people plant rumors to see how quickly and where they’ll move to test the confidence level. If your office really is a dysfunctional workplace, venting to coworkers can only exacerbate the problem.
Spouses and partners may be helpful but tire of it all and tend to sympathize too much.
Look for a good confessor, a soul mate or wise counsel
Look for someone outside your box on the organizational chart or not in your org chart. Maybe you have a history of working together or mutual experiences. A good candidate is someone who is uninterested in how your office works and doesn’t have reason to judge the participants.
A good mentor may help. Another alternative is a trusted coffee buddy who listens and supports and isn’t afraid to tell you there may be other ways to look at the situation or that your vision is pretty distorted.
Talk through your problem, vent…….and let it go.
With whom do you vent on the bad days?
Study: 25% of Americans have no one to confide in, USA Today
Coauthor of this post: Bill Tysseling is Executive Director of the Santa Cruz Chamber of Commerce. He was previously Director of Iowa State University Extension Continuing Education and Communication Services.