"In the mentoring process, reflection enables us to slow down, rest and observe our journey and the process of self-knowledge that is so important along the way." (Huang and Lynch, 1994, p.57)

Lois J. Zachary shares three steps to building effective learning relationships in The Mentor's Guide, pages 7 and 8.

1. The first step is self-awareness, which is triggered by self-reflection.  It is fundamental to understanding the mentor's proper role in facilitating effective learning relationships.
   
2. The second step is to understand the mentee's journey.  Mentees bring their own history of experience to a mentoring relationship.  Rather than assume what that history and experience are, a mentor who engages the mentee in a discussion of that experience can better avoid the "mentor cloning trap".
   
3. The third step is to gain perspective - for the mentors to look again at their journey and that of the mentees.  What mentors learn from observing these separate and distinct paths has direct implications for the learning outcomes.

By Mary Crooks, Family Life Field Specialist