For many parents, nothing strikes more fear in their hearts than these three little words: the teen years.  
 
But, a child’s teenage years don’t need to be dreaded!
 
Good news about teens arrives from new research, the Tufts’ 4-H Study of Positive Youth Development (PYD).  By adding new activities to a family’s routine and involving kids in out-of-school programs, like 4-H, parents can help their children develop life skills essential to becoming successful, happy teenagers.
 
“Three things are necessary for young people to thrive,” said Dr. Richard M. Lerner, director of the Tufts’ 4-H Study of PYD and author of the forthcoming book, The Good Teen, released October 9 by Crown Publishers. “Every child needs 1) to develop high quality, long-term relationships with caring, competent adults, like parents, teachers, coaches, or mentors; 2) opportunities to learn leadership and life skills by participating in structured out-of-school programs like 4-H; and 3) the chance to take the lead in using these skills in valued community activities. If parents build these three elements in the lives of their children, they will grow into healthy, productive young people.”
 
Here are Dr. Lerner’s 10 suggestions to help your children grow into confident, contributing teenagers:
 
1. Involve your child in structured, out-of-school activities, such as 4-H, Boys & Girls Clubs, Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts and YMCA programs.
 
2. Make sure your child has a broad array of support so he feels loved and valued every day and everywhere. Encourage positive interaction with adults outside of your immediate family.
 
3. Help your child focus on activities and skills that she does well, and then encourage participation and growth in those areas. 
 
4. Support your child’s passions for activities he enjoys without taking over. Be happy to just watch him play soccer or take photographs without managing his activities to the last detail.

5. Make connections with your child’s teachers, after-school activity leaders, faith organization leaders, and other influential adults so that you are familiar with each other and they know you’re involved. Consider volunteering to help so you can be better connected.
 
6. Plan quality time with your child. Spending time together at family dinners or game nights gives your child a strong sense of her importance to you.
 
7. Help your child understand that she has skills that can be used for activities in which she has less confidence. If she’s a good reader, but afraid of public speaking, encourage her to volunteer to read to younger children at the library where she can overcome her fears.
 
8. Do what you say...so they will do what you say. Ensure that your actions align with your words, as you are the primary model for your child.
 
9. Actively involve your child in making decisions that affect the completion of family activities, such as what you’re having for dinner, where to go on vacation, or what flowers to plant in the yard. 
 
10. Do not be afraid to share your own life experiences, good and bad, with your child, and ask your child for help when you can.
 
To learn more about positive youth development, 4-H and the Tufts’ 4-H Study of PYD,  visit www.fourhcouncil.edu. To request an executive summary of the study, contact Crystal Borde at cborde@vancomm.com.
 
Tufts’ 4-H Study of Positive Youth Development
The Tufts’ 4-H Study of Positive Youth Development is the first-ever longitudinal study to measure the characteristics of positive youth development (PYD). Conducted by Tufts University and led by Richard M. Lerner, Ph.D., the study was sponsored by National 4-H Council. It involves more than 4,000 youth and 2,000 parents from 25 states to measure the impact personal and social factors have on a young person’s development. The study is now in its fourth year. 
 
National 4-H Council
4-H is the nation’s largest youth development organization, serving more than 6.5 million young people across America who are learning leadership, citizenship and life skills. National 4-H Council is the national, private sector, non-profit partner of the 4-H Youth Development Program and its parent, the Cooperative Extension System of the United States Department of Agriculture. For more information, visit www.fourhcouncil.edu.

10/9/2007