Grandparents play an important role in the development of their grandchildren. According to recent studies, 95 percent of people over age 65 who have adult children also have grandchildren. The average age that Americans become grandparents is 45 and a majority of men expect to become grandfathers at age 52.
“This means men today can expect to spend the majority of their adult years in this important role,” said Donna Donald, Iowa State University Extension Family Life Field Specialist.
Researchers have found that grandchildren who have a close relationship with a grandfather are likely to perform well in school, display positive emotional adjustment, have higher self-esteem and have a greater ability to develop and maintain friendships.
“Grandfathers who report having close relationships with grandchildren describe the significant joy they experience as a result of the unconditional love they feel for their grandchildren,” said Mrs. Donald. “Spending time with their grandchildren and displaying photographs of them provides reminders of their connection to future generations.”
Even though the grandfather-grandchild relationship changes over time, researchers have consistently revealed how grandparents, grandfathers included, provide a variety of unique contributions and benefits to their grandchildren’s lives. Mrs. Donald notes three main contributions:
1) Grandparents provide a sounding board for grandchildren. Grandparents are one step removed from direct disciplinary and parenting responsibilities, and because of this, grandchildren tend to be more relaxed and open to sharing with them. A grandparent’s perspectives, formed from years of experience, can assist grandchildren’s growth and attempts to learn about their family, relationships and world.
2) Grandparents teach values to grandchildren. Grandfathers have lived through wars, hard times, cultural changes and technological revolutions. These experiences can be shared through stories told in a lively, engaging way that teaches their grandchildren. Even simple stories about growing up and learning lessons in life are great teaching tools for grandparents. Grandfathers can have a powerful influence on their grandchildren by teaching perseverance, loyalty, hard work, patience and sacrifice. While stories may cause grandchildren to think about personal values, a grandfather’s actions also are important. Grandchildren are observers, and they can learn powerful, lasting lessons from watching a grandfather go through life with dignity, generosity and a sense of humor.
3) Grandparents create a strong sense of family. Grandchildren want to know and learn about their family heritage, connect to the past and understand their place in their family’s history. Grandfathers are living links between the generations: they help grandchildren become acquainted with extended family members, either in person or through photographs and stories.
Grandfathers have a vitally important role to play. Connecting with grandchildren is the first step to achieving a satisfying grandfather-grandchild relationship. Mrs. Donald offers these ideas for connecting to grandchildren:
*Call or e-mail your grandchildren today just to say hello.
*Learn more about computers and the Internet together with your grandchildren.
*Get out photo albums and share stories of your past.
*Visit the library with your grandchildren and do some genealogical research.
*Show respect for your grandchildren’s parents – do not provide unsolicited advice.
*Spend one-on-one time with a grandchild, teaching him or her a skill you have (for example, woodworking, fishing, stamp collecting or other hobby).
*If you don’t have grandchildren or want to interact more with youth, consider “adopting” a grandchild in your community or becoming a volunteer in a place of worship, local school or child care program.
For more information on how you can improve your relationship with your grandchildren or find a grandchild to “adopt,” contact the ISU Extension office in your county.
12/20/2006