Relationships Under Construction

Problem:
Each year a million American children go through the experience of parental divorce. Roughly another million children are born each year to unwed mothers. Still others grow up with married parents who are emotionally estranged or persistently at war with each other. As a consequence, young people often grow up with little or no direct experience of a good and lasting marriage. In survey after survey, young men and women express growing pessimism about their chances for a successful marriage. (Source: Can Kids Get Smart about Marriage?”)

Relationship education is not required in Iowa high school curriculums. Most published commercial relationship education curricula for young people has research based content but the teaching techniques are ineffective for a variety of learning styles.

Response:
Twenty-nine (29) youth, ages 14-19, from Linn and Johnson Counties, attended “Relationships Under Construction” a 4 part series on healthy relationships. The series was co-facilitated by Casey Espe, Kirkwood Community College student and Kristi Cooper, Family Life Specialist, Iowa State University Extension. Janet Martin, Youth Development Specialist with ISU Extension, assisted in developing interactive teaching techniques. Shueyville United Methodist church hosted the series and provided 4 volunteer adult leaders to work with small group discussions. The 45 minute sessions were held on Wednesdays from 8:30 – 9:30 PM March 22 – April 19, 2006

The curriculum resources used included Connections: Dating & Emotions and Connections: Relationships and Marriage by Charlene R. Kamper, Dibble Fund and Are You being Targeted? Healthy and Unhealthy relationships. Weekly topics included 1. Characteristics of Healthy Relationships, 2. Components of Effective Communication, 3. Family Relationship Patterns and Handling Conflict, and 4. Making Up or Breaking Up? Teaching techniques included role play, interactive games, paper dolls (people), discussion and self reflection exercises. Participants created weekly “Top 10” lists summarizing what they learned about healthy relationships.

Impact:
Evaluations were received from 14 participants. As a result of participating in “Relationships Under Construction”, youth learned several things about themselves including “I need to work on listening skills.” (3), “I’m a good listener.”(3), “I have had some unhealthy relationships in the past.” “I blurt too much.” “I’m not as nice as I can be.” “I should stay more calm in situations.” “I’m honest.” “I have healthy relationships.”(3)

Things youth learned that they will use in their relationships included: “Avoid drama!” (5)
“First impressions aren’t always accurate.” (5) “Pay attention to the other person- Don’t space off.” (3) “Too much honesty can be a bad thing if not done with care.” (2) “Listen, Listen, Listen.” (3) “Elements of compromise.” “Have an open mind and find solutions together.” “Express your feelings.” “Having the same beliefs/values are very important.”

The teens indicated that the class could be longer than 4 weeks and should continue to be offered. All participants would recommend this class to a friend.

Adult volunteers surveyed indicated the educational series was effective in teaching healthy relationship skills, especially for youth who did not have positive adult models in their home. The adults also indicated that they learned by participating. One said, “I learned some more great coping skills and became more aware of how bad my communication skills actually were/are some days.”

Contact:
Kristi Cooper
Family Life Specialist
3279 7th Avenue, Suite 140
Marion, IA 52302
Phone 319-377-9839; Fax 319-377-0475
Email kcoop@iastate.edu