Parenting Together

Work as a team to raise your children. Responsible, caring children learn those characteristics from parents who figure out how to work together toward common goals.

Week 1
Talk openly about the values you want to promote in your children and how you expect them to behave. Don't assume you both hold the same values or will rank them in the same priority order. Clarify them by planning how to deal with chores, bedtime, meals, church, curfew, dating, disrespectful language.

Week 2
Set aside regular talk time - Plan for 15 uninterrupted minutes daily over coffee after supper, bedtime without the TV, or during an early morning workout together.

Week 3
Recognize differences in your parenting styles. Work with and blend your parenting differences. Agree that you will both support the final decision. If you disagree with your partner about their parenting, talk about it in private, not in front of the children.

Week 4
Together establish family rules, based on the values you both think are important. If you live apart, select some common ones that will be the same at your house and hers. Enforce the same rules together. If one of you tends to take the lead on discipline, take turns being the 'enforcer' and the 'easy going' parent.

Week 5
Watch and listen to how your children are treating their other parent. Do not tolerate disrespect by your children to either of you.

Sources: The Intentional Family, William Doherty, Avon books, New York, 1997. Take Back Your Kids, William Doherty, Sorrin Books, Notre Dame, IN, 2000.