Parenting Together

Week 1
Take time for each other. Don’t lose your marriage to your kids. In all of the scheduling of activities and other routines you have for your children, it is okay to make your relationship as equal of a priority as your children are.

Week 2
Resist anyone who undermines your marriage. One way this might happen is if a family member puts you or your partner in a position of having to choose sides in a disagreement. Another way might be when you talk to a friend to release stress about an argument with your partner and they respond by saying, “You don’t have to put up with that”, or make some other judgmental comment.

Week 3
Find a therapist who is as committed to saving your marriage as you are. If you have difficulties and choose marriage counseling, be sure you find one you are happy with. If you are unsure of any comments they might have made, find someone new. An example of a therapist who might be unintentionally undermining your marriage is one who would say, “You are not happy, but maybe if you separated from your spouse you would be happier.”

Week 4
Schedule blackouts in your home. If you feel like you do not spend enough time with your partner because of work or individual hobbies, television or the internet, take back that time. Set a time each day for an hour or even one evening per week when you devote time to each other. Turn off the television. Turn the phone ringer off. Spend time enjoying one another again.

Week 5
Keep your partner updated on your interests. Ask about hers. Don’t lose touch with who your partner is as a husband or wife. People are changing and growing all the time. Over the course of your marriage you will change as a person too. You may develop a new interest or your spouse may change jobs. Talk about these new things in your life and share your thoughts about them with each other.

Source: Doherty, William J., (2001), Take Back Your Marriage, The Guilford Press, New York.