Parenting Together

Family and work responsibilities are becoming more complicated and stressful. You and your partner find yourselves juggling multiple tasks and roles. Unfortunately, the same skills that help us succeed at this juggling act can also damage our personal relationships.

Week 1
Pause before you enter your home. Remind yourself, "No superhumans live here." Enter your family’s presence mindful of your effect on them. Make it a positive experience.

Week 2
Take a mini vacation. Invite your partner to escape the outside world with you. Play mini golf in the living room with a yardstick and a rolled up sock. Have breakfast in the back yard. Go window-shopping.

Week 3
Turn off all phones, pagers, TVs and stereos during dinner. Spend time in a peaceful part of your home--in your garden, your study or a favorite sofa with your partner.

Week 4
Take a night off together. Enjoy each other in a relaxed, unstructured evening. Order in pizza --and agree not to think about cooking, laundry, bills, the office or any difficult subjects all evening. The more you "practice" giving yourself permission to relax, the more natural it will feel.

Week 5
Reflect on how you’re spending your time. If any areas are being seriously neglected, make a point of attending to them briefly. Give up the myth of a perfect balance and aim for reasonable balance across a long period of time.

Adapted from: www.sotile.com. Wayne M. Sotile, Ph.D., director of Psychological Services at Wake Forest University's cardiac rehabilitation program. He and his wife, Mary O. Sotile, are motivational speakers and family therapists. They are authors of Beat Stress Together: The BEST Way to a Passionate Marriage, a Healthy Family, and a Productive Life (John Wiley & Sons, 1999).