Ages & Stages

Sibling Fights
There are a number of reasons why kids quarrel, fight and tease. Sometimes they are just bored, tired or hungry. Other times they are seeking attention or trying to develop their own sense of power. Understanding why kids quarrel can help you know what to do.

Basic Needs. Whenever you are the busiest, quarreling and teasing break out.

What can I do? The first thing to do is to ask what basic needs are not being met. A few minutes of rest, a healthy snack, and some interesting things to do can work wonders.

Attention. Sometimes kids get into a bad habit of squabbling as a way of getting attention.

What can I do? Ignore the mild quarrels. Remain calm and avoid speaking or looking at your children. Also teach children to ask for attention in a positive way. Try saying, “I can’t always play with you for a long time, but I almost always can take time to read you a book” or “Yelling hurts my ears, try tapping me on the shoulder and asking for help.

Companionship. Some children seem to have a knack for getting brothers and sisters to play with them. Other children seem to have a greater difficulty doing this and quickly discovering that starting a quarrel with a sibling is a sure way to get them involved.

What can I do? Teach children words to make play work well such as, “Would you play with me?” and using “please” and “thank you.”

Power. Part of growing up is learning personal power. But learning to handle competitive feelings is a real challenge for young children.

What can I do? Avoid taking sides but give children choices. As children learn to make simple choices between wearing red or yellow socks, they begin learning how to make decisions. Sometimes they also learn the consequences of those simple decisions. Parents can give children opportunities to learn about decision-making. For example, when kids quarrel, parents can say, “You can decide how to share the play dough or I will put it away.”

Links
Getting Along Brothers & Sisters (pdf)

Quality Time, Quality Books

Dads and kids are good for each other. Read this book and find out how much you depend on each other with this helping hands activity.

Hands by Lois Ehlert, New York: Harcourt Brace and Company, 1997.

This children’s book is a highly visual and intriguing reading experience. The objects that make up this book are amazing and the colors are bright and will hold your child’s attention. This book traces the origins of the author’s desire and dream to become an artist. She finds her inspiration in her parents who have always worked with their hands. This is truly a book for both children and adults.

Me & My Dad Activity
Adapted from the June/July 1999 issue of Bookbag: The Teacher’s Idea

Magazine For Children’s Literature, published by The Education Center, Inc.

After reading Hands together make a list of the many things a father helps his child do. Many of these things will be using hands. For example, “My father helps me to tie my shoes…my father help me with school work…my father helps me plant flowers….” Then make a list of things children help their fathers with. “My child gives great hugs... smiles at me…holds the flashlight…helps me fix things.” Create this garland for your office or your child’s room.

Materials:
*one 6” x 24” sheet of lightweight colored paper
*scissors
*markers or crayons
*a tracing of your child’s hand

Directions:
1. Accordion-fold your paper so that each section is four inches wide.
2. Cut out the hand pattern that you have made from a tracing of your child’s hand.
3. Trace the pattern onto the top section of your folded strip.
4. Cut on the lines, leaving the folds at the pinkie and the thumb uncut. Unfold your garland.
5. On the first hand, have your child with or without your help, write or draw one of the things you do for your child.
6. On the second hand, write a statement describing something your child does for you.
7. Continue the pattern of writing or drawing something you each do for each other
8. Add decorative details to the hands using markers or crayons.
9. If you have time, make a garland for each of you.