Featured Fathers

"I love to get her to make noises. She stands in my lap and jumps and babbles," says Brian, first time father. "Her personality it's unbelievable!"

"I never thought something could occupy so much of your time! Play, feeding, bathing and putting her to sleep takes all evening." These are Brian's favorite times. Three nights a week are his to care for daughter Maggie while his wife Renee works. They adjusted their work schedules so one of them could be with her as much as possible.

His marriage is an important part of his role as a father. "Renee and I waited 7 years before having a child. We each had career goals, bought a house. It was good for us to be husband and wife before we were parents. How we spend our time together now is totally different. We are consumed with what Maggie did today. We take her out. Every time it's like "This is the 1st time she has ever . . . We have to prioritize time to have dinner together. "

One of the surprises Brian faces as a new dad is the lack of expectations about his involvement. "We went to prenatal childbirth classes. The book was called the Joy of Motherhood - big picture of mother and baby on the cover, no father in sight. When I take Maggie to the doctor's office – the nurse and Dr. both wonder where mom is. They think the father is not as significant. This is a partnership. I'm just as responsible as Renee is in providing whatever Maggie needs. When these external attitudes are repeated over and over, I begin to wonder if I am being overbearing. It would be very easy for me to step back and work more hours, not change diapers, etc. No one expects a father to be any of those things. I have Maggie when Renee is working. I'm not babysitting. I'm taking care of my daughter! I'm being a dad!"

A director of a non-profit family service agency, Brian is conscious of his important role in his daughter's life and example for his staff. "Maggie is my deadline for the end of the day. It was easier to work long hours before."

Brian looks to his own father's example. "My father was solid, stable. A strong dad vested in our positive outcomes. That's the bar that's been set. I would like to raise the bar higher. I'm always going to be included in her life. Girls need a dad as much as a boy does."

Brian suggests systematic changes to strengthen relationships between dads and kids. "The statistics are overwhelming. If we want less juvenile delinquency, less teen pregnancy and more success for youth, then fathers have to be involved. We need to be ready to give dads the rights that go with the responsibilities of fatherhood. It's not enough to say fathers are important, we must say they are necessary."

Maggie, your dad is a keeper!