Featured Fathers

"My tooth just came out!" "Lemme see jack-o-lantern girl!"

Dennis laughs, inspecting the new space in his 6 year old's mouth. The simple things in life are favorite times with his girls, Alexa, 6 and Kelsey 14.

Three and a half years of separation and a 3 month old divorce, reveals Dennis, 39, in a grateful mood. "I miss the chance to tuck them in at night so on weekends when I can do that it’s important." Seeing Alexa learn a new word when she's reading and having Kelsey beat him in basketball are cherished moments for this active dad.

As community college instructor, Dennis' schedule allows him daily time after school with both girls. They go over school work, talk about activities, shop for supplies. These ordinary interactions are important indicators of the connection with his children.

His weekends with the girls always include a 'Fisherman's breakfast' of bacon, eggs, pancakes, hash browns with cheese, o.j. and ‘moo’juice (milk). It's a tradition all three look forward to and help prepare together.

What will he tell them about love and marriage? "Don't say it unless you mean it. Take the vows seriously and honor them. Marriage is not a disposable thing. It's not about someone you think you can live with – it is someone you know you can't live without. There's a difference."

"You let the cold air in, please be sure the door is shut." “What do you need to do to be ready to go to the birthday party?” "Dad, how do you spell 'touch' as in 'Kelsey, don't touch my tooth'?" "Dad, look!" says Kelsey showing her tongue, blue from her snack

He smiles and chuckles. "I'm a better father now. I'm consistent. Before the separation I was a dad but not as involved in the planning. I worked all the time when Kelsey was little." Being a father during the separation was difficult - not knowing what he could and could not do and say.

"When they are not with me I stay busy. I clean house, take on ‘fix –it’ projects. I spend time with friends. I hate bowling but I did it because it was active and kept me from wondering and worrying about things."

Dennis is conscious of his role in the stressful transition times between he and his ex-wife. " When I pick them up, it takes 1-2 hours for them feel comfortable. I used to ask questions to get them talking, but got nothing. It is easier to tell them what I've been up to so they don't have to tell me anything right away. I just let it be, give them space to loosen up– I ask them to help make supper, set the table. After they listen to me for a while they realize it’s okay to talk and they do."

"When it's time to go back to their mom's they start to tense up and fight with each other, get 'owly and antsy'. I allow them to do this - not take it personally - it's the way they emotionally separate from me."

“Daddy," asks Alexa, “what kind of food would you be and why?” “Spaghetti, because it is tasty and good for you and flexible and can form to almost anything, just like noodles.” Patience, flexibility and optimism are Dennis’ virtues, evident in the quality time he makes with his girls.