Featured Fathers

Giggles and grunts come from the wiggling bundle in Paul’s arms. Five month old Walker burrows his face into his Daddy’s chest and then looks up grinning. One would never guess that Walker and his daddy, Paul, were literally a world apart a month ago. Paul and Ann, and their Korean born son share a bond not unlike birth parents and their children. “Wonderful, It’s the best thing I’ve ever done.” says Paul glowing with pride.

Paul sports the “badge of honor” for changing Walker’s first two messy diapers. “When he makes a noise in the night, I’m there - at crib - in changing mode. It must be a guy’s hearing, I don’t miss a peep. I do night shift, ‘cause that’s what I can do. Ann does better with the daytime stuff.”

Fascinated by his young son, Paul “burbles” Walker’s neck and then lifts him high over his head. “I’m amazed at how attentive Walker is. I cherish the things I can do that mommy can’t do. I can come in and just do it. If he’s fussy, I put the laser light on the wall where he can see and follow it. When I take him outside he looks at everything.”

For Paul, being a good parent means “watching your child’s cues and your partner’s cues”. Supporting his wife is a huge part of his father role. “Communicate, play ‘what if’ - go through who’s going to do what, talk to each other. Tag team. The fun part is watching Ann change and grow.”

“We wanted to go full circle, start a family network. Adoption was the only way we could do it. I wouldn’t go back.” “The parenting classes we took months ago helped us get oriented to what the issues would be.”

About Walker’s delivery: “We watched birth videos before he arrived. The hardest part was not seeing Ann get big, counting the trimesters, etc.” But the airport delivery was emotional. “I was okay until I looked at Ann and then I got all lumpy.” Paul graciously accepted the adoption agency’s advice that Ann be the one to hold Walker at his arrival. “The first two days were the hardest. All Walker wanted was to be held. So we did that, trading off every two hours.”

Although Paul doesn’t get paternity leave, he has flexibility to be available because he lives/works on site at a YMCA camp. His boss, a single father, is supportive, as are Paul’s colleagues. “You have to pick out bits and pieces from lots of places. I depend on a close friend, father of 2, for advice.”

Walker whimpers as Paul prepares his bottle of soy milk. Content after his lunch, “Soy boy” and Dad “mooch and sniggle” until naptime. “Thumbs up, Walker, you’ve got a cool dad.”