Time with Grandparents Still Can Be Grand
Being a grandparent is not what it used to be, said Donna Donald, Iowa State University Extension family life field specialist.
Today’s grandparents often are still working, either full or part-time. They may be caregivers for their own parents. The grandchildren may live far away or be in varied living situations, or even live with the grandparents part or all of the time. Some or all of the grandchildren may be step-grandchildren.
“No matter the circumstances, grandparents remain a vital connection between the past and the future. They can make a positive difference in the lives of their grandchildren,” Mrs. Donald said. “With a little effort and time, you, too, can begin building relationships and making memories with your grandchildren.”
Mrs. Donald offers these suggestions for becoming a “grand” grandparent.
- Listen and talk to your grandchildren. Ask what they are thinking, saying and feeling. Really tune in to what is going on in their lives.
- Love your grandchildren just as they are. Don’t impose your expectations or make comparisons.
- Treat all the grandchildren as special. Accept them as individuals and work at making a connection with each one. Children (and their parents) quickly notice any preferential treatment.
- Set a good example. Model the values you would want your grandchildren to embrace.
- Leave the discipline to the parents. If you keep the grandchildren involved and give them attention, there likely will be little misbehavior.
- Teach skills. Share a hobby. Show your grandchildren how to plant flowers, swing a golf club, whistle a tune, dance the two-step or fly a kite. Just tailor the list to suit the grandchildren’s ages and your interests.
- Tell stories and pass on family history. Even young grandparents had a childhood different from today’s children. Grandchildren love to hear stories about when you were growing up and about their parents.
- Support the parents. Offer encouragement, not unasked-for advice. Volunteer to take the grandchildren for an afternoon, evening or weekend to give the parents a break.
Parents, too, can help foster grandparent-grandchildren relationships, Mrs. Donald continued. “Let children have special one-on-one time with their grandparents. Gracefully accept differences in house rules and understand that occasional variations in eating habits, bedtime hours or other routines will not be harmful.”
Mrs. Donald said, “Grandparenting takes time and effort. But it is one of the greatest roles you will play, and the payoff is priceless.”
Adair County Extension
8/22/2006