Holiday customs change when older relatives change
Alzheimer's Disease and related disorders can change family customs during the holidays. Changes also happen when illness causes loss of energy and physical strength.
Older adults who experience losses still need loving contact with the children in their lives, but some guidelines can help during holiday visits.
Prepare children and teens for ways in which an illness has changed their older relative, especially if they are visiting from a distance and have not been together for some time.
Explain that Grandpa has an illness that may make him repeat the same question, even after it has been answered. Advise children to encourage their grandparent to talk about things the older person finds interesting, to give the grandparent ample time to say things, and not to dispute wrong information.
Although Grandma may love being around younger people, she may have an illness or hearing loss that makes it difficult to keep up with the conversation and activities. Everything that Grandma does now takes more effort and may take a toll on patience.
The high spirits of youth can be exhilarating but also fatiguing. Plan for breaks when children have activities away from the house, and make sure that the older person has opportunity for normal rest.
Be positive about what the grandparent will enjoy.
- Photo albums can encourage spontaneous conversations between children and grandparents. Emphasize the importance of teens spending time with the older person while parents take care of household tasks, or vice versa.
- Music often brings people together. Share recorded music (old and new), have a teen guitarist play for a sing along, or let children perform short songs. Often people who have lost much of their memory still can sing old familiar songs.
- Videos (perhaps a cartoon classic) might be enjoyed by all ages.
- Baking projects also can involve several family members. An adult or older child can mix cookies, while younger children and older adults can cut and decorate.
- Touch can be the best communication. Encourage children to give frequent gentle hugs or to hold Grandma or Grandpa's hand.
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December 6, 2002